i hope each time i'm lost, i'd find something new.
i'm always lost; be it in career, on roads, in life. but i'm learning that each time i'm lost, i try to find a way to where i intend to go. it's scary when i'm alone, i prefer to have company. but i tend to rely on my companion and let go much of my own responsibility and alertness. i will still be unsure of that path if i need to take it again, alone. but i know He knows, when to send me alone, when i need a friend, but He is always with me.
His grace is for the lost. for people like me. it is a fact but i feel it so much more when i am lost and am finding my way back. i'm reminding myself to be brave to be lost.
(there is an urge to cancel that last sentence, for i felt it may be used against me in many situations)
Friday, January 22, 2010
Friday, January 15, 2010
Saturday, January 9, 2010
remind me 2009
i've got to remember before i forget.
2009. if i don't try to capture the bits now, 2010 might fly by and before i know it, i'd be stumped to think what happened 2010.
so here's a quick run (i may miss some, or more) though i am dead tired.
-the suffering at s*****d. the loneliness. sadness. suspicion of depression. disappointment. lost. even anger. scanning, which at that time kills, but now it doesn't hurt me anymore. heck, i nearly forgot it already.
-the great escape. the freedom. the release.
-the impromptu decision to fly across the sea.
-the cool trip to cameron. very full stomachs. very many veges. very cold floor. very nice house. super yummy ice cream, and cheap too! and precious time spent with family. its not about the strawberries (by the way, we had waaaay more cucumber and tomatoes tripping back to us to taiping). and corn that burst in the mouth when you bite into it. ah the juicy one.
-the 1st time of airasia. to miri, land of unknown. the thick-faced tag along. the squeezing into the car. the plonking on bed of person yet unmet at that time. the mega kindness of friends of friend. the constant belanja. the dreaded incident (but timing was actually alright). the brunei stamp on passport. the sushi, lobster and wolverine. many pretty cars and tiled buildings. boon. =)
-flying with the wings of mas to mulu. woohoo! the tired walks but each time more than worthwhile. the jungle. :) the nice air. the fun guide. night walk. waterfall. caving. climbing. darkness. singaporeans. turtle cave. water. fear of the deep. satisfaction. joy. little snickers. leech :/ ern. paku vege (garlic, belacan). royal mulu. maggi with egg (checked price RM4 something?). the long walk. the canned food with canteen food. the bread and the toes. locked in the reading area. animals (rats?) running around. the identical bangles. cute eurasian kids who needed milo. sue.:) japanese guy. shirt with tag. the boat ride. =) the penan market. love mulu. a beautiful escape.
-miri to west. emo moments (seen). sue and i, the later ones. the night in lcct. the kesian sleep in the food court. the awake sue. the mcd breakfast porridge.
-redang. the surreal sea seen by snorkelling. surreal feeling. the long long journey. the meet up in kl. jason the guide. na si wa oo chi pak ban. volley. pee into sea (not me!). trigger fish. baby shark. weird fish that opens its mouth. penyu. sea cucumbers. jelly fish. breakfast before going to island. joann. the very blue sea. the aussie guy (nicknamed p**k c***p). the blue beach, it fluoresces! the bad sunburn. the worse heartburn. people's laughter. last night. hammock. the head bang. charis. cards and drinks.
-home in taiping. the work. the family. the business. sister's friend. the desire for something more. the wanting of being with friends. to be doing something. to find purpose. tears. lost, again. the missed sundays. excuses. running away from lp. fear of stepping out again. laziness to try. emerio, scope.
-and oct, s******e. unsure. just go. free. work, but doubt. load disliked. new people. new friends. =) some takes patience. senior left. seven to eight. thought: out of comfort zone. but now in comfort. (2010: soon eight to seven).
-christmas, brother's birthday. nice homemade chocolate cake by lil sis. 6@home. the rudeness. monster. :(
-new year's eve. many new friends. a lil talk before falling asleep.
-random: sis' car.
have i grown? what am i doing here? why had i wanted to be here? what is my passion?
2009. if i don't try to capture the bits now, 2010 might fly by and before i know it, i'd be stumped to think what happened 2010.
so here's a quick run (i may miss some, or more) though i am dead tired.
-the suffering at s*****d. the loneliness. sadness. suspicion of depression. disappointment. lost. even anger. scanning, which at that time kills, but now it doesn't hurt me anymore. heck, i nearly forgot it already.
-the great escape. the freedom. the release.
-the impromptu decision to fly across the sea.
-the cool trip to cameron. very full stomachs. very many veges. very cold floor. very nice house. super yummy ice cream, and cheap too! and precious time spent with family. its not about the strawberries (by the way, we had waaaay more cucumber and tomatoes tripping back to us to taiping). and corn that burst in the mouth when you bite into it. ah the juicy one.
-the 1st time of airasia. to miri, land of unknown. the thick-faced tag along. the squeezing into the car. the plonking on bed of person yet unmet at that time. the mega kindness of friends of friend. the constant belanja. the dreaded incident (but timing was actually alright). the brunei stamp on passport. the sushi, lobster and wolverine. many pretty cars and tiled buildings. boon. =)
-flying with the wings of mas to mulu. woohoo! the tired walks but each time more than worthwhile. the jungle. :) the nice air. the fun guide. night walk. waterfall. caving. climbing. darkness. singaporeans. turtle cave. water. fear of the deep. satisfaction. joy. little snickers. leech :/ ern. paku vege (garlic, belacan). royal mulu. maggi with egg (checked price RM4 something?). the long walk. the canned food with canteen food. the bread and the toes. locked in the reading area. animals (rats?) running around. the identical bangles. cute eurasian kids who needed milo. sue.:) japanese guy. shirt with tag. the boat ride. =) the penan market. love mulu. a beautiful escape.
-miri to west. emo moments (seen). sue and i, the later ones. the night in lcct. the kesian sleep in the food court. the awake sue. the mcd breakfast porridge.
-redang. the surreal sea seen by snorkelling. surreal feeling. the long long journey. the meet up in kl. jason the guide. na si wa oo chi pak ban. volley. pee into sea (not me!). trigger fish. baby shark. weird fish that opens its mouth. penyu. sea cucumbers. jelly fish. breakfast before going to island. joann. the very blue sea. the aussie guy (nicknamed p**k c***p). the blue beach, it fluoresces! the bad sunburn. the worse heartburn. people's laughter. last night. hammock. the head bang. charis. cards and drinks.
-home in taiping. the work. the family. the business. sister's friend. the desire for something more. the wanting of being with friends. to be doing something. to find purpose. tears. lost, again. the missed sundays. excuses. running away from lp. fear of stepping out again. laziness to try. emerio, scope.
-and oct, s******e. unsure. just go. free. work, but doubt. load disliked. new people. new friends. =) some takes patience. senior left. seven to eight. thought: out of comfort zone. but now in comfort. (2010: soon eight to seven).
-christmas, brother's birthday. nice homemade chocolate cake by lil sis. 6@home. the rudeness. monster. :(
-new year's eve. many new friends. a lil talk before falling asleep.
-random: sis' car.
have i grown? what am i doing here? why had i wanted to be here? what is my passion?
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