let's go

i don't mind going if there is a place to go.

that's always the issue, isn't it. because we'd never really know. but at least, do know what i want?

restless

in search of sanity, or insanity, whichever will make me feel better.

common sense, i don't know what is that, or how it is made. ever changing, so its never common.

restlessness is a very apt word.

here and there

doesn't mind doesn't mean doesn't matter.

one of the things i came to learn through a friend.

and, loving someone and wanting to protect them may not make them happy.

i am still bothered. when and how will this change?

passion, elusive

beneath the pile of 'realities', obligations and shoulds, lie passion, barely breathing. waiting, that one day you would acknowledge it, say it is real and let it live again.

right now, it is injured beyond recognition, and i wonder.. would it die, and never come back? and this fear could drive me further from it, the fear of losing it.

does everyone have a passion? are they born with it? and along the way something triggered it. is it like that?

the things i once believed i love; i'm not so sure anymore. again and again, i wonder if i'm good enough in what i like, and if i'm not, will i persevere? do we need talent and perseverance to birth passion?

to die or live.

it's intriguing.

how sometimes you would die for someone, but not live with them.

dried from oversqueezing

i want to write something now that i am so free and this was what i said i wanted to do. of course i hope whatever was churned out can generate money in addition to providing satisfaction. however, due to reasons unknown to me, i could not squeeze something out. i felt extremely dry. am i doing it the wrong way? working backward? hmph.!

somewhere in my life, have i locked all my imagination and threw the key away because reality was laughing at me and my imagination? have i been so successful in conforming that i no longer dared to dream anymore?

when it's a stress to become myself, i know i've got it wrong. i am already me, what's there to become? sheesh. i think i will not repeat this to myself once i fully believe it. :)

like, sad.

i don't like me now and its a sad thing.