uncheerful

as of today, i'm feeling quite lethargic and not too cheerful.

ever have that feeling that you're not happy where you are but you stayed on, trying to believe, perhaps already believing that though it doesn't feel like it, this is where you need to stay. there is no future or anything that interests you, nothing, really, to cause you to stay, but you felt like you should.

forgive me. one day i hope it make sense.

but today i hope to make it worthwhile. i really hope that i won't wait so hard for the future that i missed the present. it is my belief that no matter how sucky it may seem at the time being, God waste no time in letting us live life to the full. yes, i may be here for another purpose, of which one day i will understand, but even before my mind is allowed to comprehend, there is more to be done. you can say it is part of the story that paints the whole picture in the end.

it is quite a pain to be in the dark, uncertain and unhappy. but i suppose when happiness is out of the way, it gives way to joy to shine. many times we mix them up, not telling one from the other. but joy prevails, even when we're sad. it's hard to explain, i can't tell if it's harder to experience. but because joy is something that comes from above, i believe if we ask, we will receive.

i realised i have not asked.