random post from office

i like being in the office early. well, maybe not, but there are perks being in the office early. like when there is only the cleaning lady and another employee at another far end, i am at ease to blog. =) especially when my colleague isn't here yet to look over the tiny short wall that separates us and read what i'm doing, once in a while.

i remember telling a friend that if God wants me to do something, He has to shove me into it, because i am hard at hearing and am a constant doubter. i think i'm the kind of person when faced with 50%-50% decision, to go or not to go, i'd lean towards stagnancy.

that is why, perhaps, He stamped a parking ticket on my (sister's) car's windshield so i dare not park in front of the apartment, and thus am forced to drive to work. so far, i survived two days. the car is still working, too. He knew me. i would try to avoid being 'saman' again. it's not as scary as i thought. lol. yes, i don't like driving, i prefer being driven. but it's good to practice, this is sort of a ticket to freedom. and maybe if i do it often, i won't mind it that much.

last night, as i lay down to sleep and couldn't fall into it as easily as usual, i really got to thinking how God has been with me, has brought me through ever since i started working again. i'm sure God has never left me, but His hands in my life are more evident now, or should i say, i am more alert to it now. the more i need Him, the more He shows Himself. =) He is always there, am i looking?

i want to be positive, and i am positive i am getting old.=/ there is so much He has done, the at-times-funny paths He has led me through, but i am struggling to recall. that is why i must write, to remember.

random: He has given me 3C --> car, colleagues, computer with Internet at home =P

i know i sometimes stand the risk of being annoyingly positive or cheerful. but there are days when no matter how hard i try, i can't feel that way. so when i can, shouldn't i be free to bask in it? =)

i'm going to dig in my lil black book to see if i can find more topics to say. gosh, i used to love writing so much. but now i seem overly cautious. how to lose myself, and set myself free through writing again?