in search of the S

i think i figured out something which probably a lot of people have already.

satisfaction is not in what i thought i liked to do, but that in doing what i liked to do, i serve a purpose that matters to me. this could explain why i tried to do that thing and still feel so restless and lost. i could not find back that enlightened, revealing moment i used to have. or even the joy and excitement. because i had concentrated so hard in the doing, i forgot why i am doing it. i thought the doing would make me happy, but it worked the other way round. i had been so expectant of that elation, i was so disappointed when i was let down.

but to be shoved to the dust, and discover something in it, makes it a worthwhile journey, or rather, experience.

i've yet to be fulfilled, but at least i know where to look now.

i've got keep my eyes on that purpose, the real desire. when i look to the right address, i can't go too far off, i hope. after all, my purpose is a Living Purpose, who actively draws and directs, so i know He is more than willing to lead me to Him.

doing is just the process, and not the end product. so, yes, it as dawned upon me. i may be slow, but i'm glad i'm moving. =)